Finding My Way Forward

What does it REALLY mean to work for yourself? I thought that I had learned the answer. Now as I find my way forward through this crisis, I realize that working for yourself only works when you actually do it. Let me explain...

After years of trying to forge my own path I finally made it happen! I no longer had to say yes to every gig or remain at a job in academia. The Simon Boyar School of Drums and Percussion was (and still is) a huge success and I mean HUGE. Prior to COVID-19 I was meeting with about 35 amazing students a week and working with 2 ensembles. Clients would purchase gear from me on a near daily basis. Things were going so well that running the business became an equal amount of time spent figuring out how to expand. Expansion was inevitable or at least I thought it was. 

Let’s back up a bit. It felt really good to finally be in charge of my life. For years I had struggled. Although I was always fortunate to be working as a musician and I had a fantastic career, I also recognized that it would be challenging to build a sustainable future where I was in control of my own destiny. In many ways this was the genesis of the Simon Boyar School of Drums and Percussion. Born out of several different projects, the SB School was eventually formed in March of 2016. It was very slow going at first but once it got rolling there was no stopping it. By the beginning of 2019 I was able to pick and choose my work. I also made plans to leave my post in academia. Once I did I never looked back. Even if I had wanted to there was no time. Things had become very VERY busy. 

I chased down every bit of business that I could muster. With each deal and every interaction I was moving into a new life where I made all of the rules and I didn't have to depend on an unsustainable set of circumstances. However, something was drastically amiss. In the depths of my newfound success I was also paying a hefty price. My whole life had become about chasing down everything. Chasing down deals, chasing down growth, and even chasing down student results. The stress was overwhelming and I often found myself expending a great deal of unnecessary energy. I mentioned an expansion before. An expansion definitely would have happened. It was in the works and now looking back I am sure that it would have taken me with it. 

Now fast forward to today. Like the rest of America I've been forced to social distance. Although I've maintained a large number of my clients through online lessons and other offerings, I've also been forced to take the expansion plans off the table at least in the short-term. I've had time to think, reevaluate, and look at things objectively. As a result, I've learned some very important lessons that I will hopefully carry with me moving forward. 

First, I love my students and I love what we have built. I am honored to work with each and every one of them. In many ways, we are all on the same journey trying to learn music and improve. I may be farther along but at my core I'm also one of them. I've dedicated my entire life to learning a craft. My life is a life of learning. In working with students online over the past 2 months and seeing things play out I've had to come to terms with something that perhaps I always knew but maybe wasn't willing to accept. You can't force success out of someone. If a student isn't ready to hear the message or can't meet me halfway, they perhaps aren't ready for serious music lessons with a serious instructor. It doesn't mean that they won't be in the future but they just aren't ready now. I care about all of my students and I don't want any of them to fail. I want as many people playing as possible so this for me is a very hard lesson but I have to accept that if a student is unable or unwilling to put forth the effort, there is very little I can do to change that. 

I also lost sight of some of the key elements that made me successful in the first place. Yes I am a teacher and an educator but in the tradition of many of my heroes, I think of myself first and foremost as a "player who teaches." I am a creative individual with music and ideas to share. I love business and as a musician I'm probably a bit unique in that sense but it's only a part of the equation for me. As a result, when the the daily headaches mounted and I experienced the real “emotional cost of doing business,” I found myself struggling. Don't get me wrong, I love the game BUT students come to me because of what I do as a creative musician and artist. If I'm not making the time to be creative, write music, share my ideas, and above all else improve my craft, I will not be as valuable as an educator. 

We live in extraordinary times. There are messages being sent and received. We need to be open to them. Through this crisis the universe delivered me a stunning rebuke. The entire purpose of working for yourself is defeated if you run the risk of losing yourself. I now move forward with a firmest of convictions. I still maintain my drive and there may still be an expansion in my future but it will look very different than the one before. I am now refocused and more content to let things come to me. If something isn't right or isn't meant to be in my business, I can let it go. This isn't because I don't want it or care about it. Rather, it's because my creativity is extremely valuable and I have to preserve myself for what's right. Chasing is not a long term strategy without objectivity and truth. Without me, there can be no world-class education and instruction. There can be no Simon Boyar School of Drums and Percussion.